(no subject)

Five years, and I still get tongue tied around him. I hate that! You'd think that after five years, I could look an old boyfriend in the eye and have a normal conversation with him, but no. It's impossible!



...



So Bert actually did show up today. He came in and talked to me and the family for about an hour. I have to admit, it's always great to see him. This is about an annual thing for us, he'll show up around Thanksgiving or Christmas to see everyone and talk and such. And it's always nice, he's had some financial scrapes among other things, but the fact remains that he has always been a nice guy. Mom refers to him as the "James Dean" of south boston. Bad, but ooooooohh so good. ;) And everytime we talk, or he comes by, it's obvious that there is a thick cloud of chemistry going on between us, but neither of us makes a move. I don't know if he just wants to be friends or what. It's hard for me to talk to him because I still get all tongue tied and shy and quiet around him. (Yes, completly opposite of my usual self, I know.) I can't even look at him, and it drives me NUTS!

So now I am stuck in an interesting place. Our relationship didn't work last time because he was still in love with the girl he dated before me. Yet, when he started dating another girl, he would always talk to me about their relationship problems and such. (Okay, I can to him over AIM, but face to face? oy.) And eventually he'd bring up the first night we were officially a couple. (We became official when we were with the youth group at a P.O.D concert!)

So that's where I am right now.