His Birthday
Jan. 7th, 2026 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thatsjustjenna It's his birthday today.
We dated for a a year and a half. That was 17 years ago.
Every year, on January 7th, I ask myself-
"Why did you give so much to someone who never saw you as enough?"
I still don't have the answer.
Sitting in my therapist's chair I wonder sometimes if I am the way that I am because I am avoiding becoming the person he wanted to turn me into?
What if I gave in. Became the best version of myself- would that be to his standards, or mine?
Maybe. Just maybe. I already am my best version of myself. Even if this version still remembers his birthday, even though he never remembered mine.
We dated for a a year and a half. That was 17 years ago.
Every year, on January 7th, I ask myself-
"Why did you give so much to someone who never saw you as enough?"
I still don't have the answer.
Sitting in my therapist's chair I wonder sometimes if I am the way that I am because I am avoiding becoming the person he wanted to turn me into?
What if I gave in. Became the best version of myself- would that be to his standards, or mine?
Maybe. Just maybe. I already am my best version of myself. Even if this version still remembers his birthday, even though he never remembered mine.